Couples coaching – The future of relationship management
by Neelam Challoner – The Redesign Life Coach
Before I was married, my husband and I were invited to attend ‘pre-marital counselling’ sessions by our church leader. We knew this was not because we ‘needed’ counselling, but it was to help us talk, share and ultimately make sure we are on the same page before our wedding day. I guess it was our leaders’ intention to ensure we truly love each other, had developed good communication and understanding of each other.
My husband and I went along for few sessions, to our surprise and honestly, we found it helpful. I began to understand my fiancé a little more, and he me. We ironed out some small matters individually which, had they not been dealt with, could have become bigger issues in our marriage.
I think we both felt that it was time well invested and from time to time reflect on that experience.
The number one reason for many breakdowns in relationship is communication. Without this, you cannot build trust, you will not understand each other’s values (what’s most important) and you cannot build a fused future. Communication is the beginning of wisdom in building a strong, happy, and fulfilling life with someone.
As a Coach, my recommendation to couples who are about to embark on a journey to ‘happy ever after’ is to invest time and a little money into couples coaching or pre-marital counselling. You will reap the rewards for years to come.
Now, before you think “I don’t have any problems…” bear with me.
Coaching is not counselling. It is about releasing potential in you and moving you from where you are to where you want to be. It is goal orientated and frankly,
quite motivating. Furthermore, couples coaching is a meaningful process that can help you become the best version of you.
Assuming you undoubtedly love each other, here are my top suggestions for things to cover with your Coach as a couple:
I think we both felt that it was time well invested and from time to time reflect on that experience.
The number one reason for many breakdowns in relationship is communication. Without this, you cannot build trust, you will not understand each other’s values (what’s most important) and you cannot build a fused future. Communication is the beginning of wisdom in building a strong, happy, and fulfilling life with someone.
As a Coach, my recommendation to couples who are about to embark on a journey to ‘happy ever after’ is to invest time and a little money into couples coaching or pre-marital counselling. You will reap the rewards for years to come.
Now, before you think “I don’t have any problems…” bear with me.
Coaching is not counselling. It is about releasing potential in you and moving you from where you are to where you want to be. It is goal orientated and frankly,
quite motivating. Furthermore, couples coaching is a meaningful process that can help you become the best version of you.
Assuming you undoubtedly love each other, here are my top suggestions for things to cover with your Coach as a couple:
- Values Analysis
Discover and identify each of your values, and then agree the ones you will merge to create one combined set of values - Vision clarified
Have a clear vision of where you are both heading in the future. What do you both want? Where are you heading? How do you want to make a difference? etc - Communication
Understand the ways we communicate the power of communication and how best to communicate with your partner, particularly when there could be some differences and there will be, as we are all different. - Turn around limiting beliefs
If you both carry limiting beliefs, you will bring that thinking, and behaviour into the marriage and it may cause frustration with your partner and could hinder plans and diminish unity. - Speak Truth
Openly discuss expectations, worries, and personal inhibitions and then encourage and affirm each other. - Leave the past in the past
Its time to begin not just a new chapter, instead, a new book. This is a poignant time to deal with past issues and put the baggage down. Forever. - Get Creative
Put together a book of dreams, a vision board, inspirational ideas and innovations especially if you are a couple who have big ambitions. Dream, create and have fun.
There are many things that could be included as part of your couples coaching programme. At a consultation, you can discuss what your needs, wants, goals and challenges are and then your coach will create a bespoke plan just for you.
You can contact me, or look up other coaches and also speak to your local/family temple, mosque, church,
synagogue etc. and see if they have this provision in place. It will be the best money and time invested. Let us be honest, none of us are perfect and so, two imperfect people may need a helping hand in a safe and open space to freely dialogue with impartial and non- judgemental facilitation and take a pragmatic approach to move forward.
So what can happen because of having couples coaching?
You both will a) have a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner b) be on the same page c) improve communication d) feel more closer and confident about your future together e) gain clarity on things that might need a little attention f) feel happier after having this meaningful experience g) be able to problem solve, set goals, talk about important matters without fear and h) create your own unique ‘happy ever after’ on a solid foundation and so much more.
A great marriage does not happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end
